about you (my heart and soul)...

It's been almost a year
And I still want to wrap my arms around you
Feel your skin twitching under my cheek
Scold you as you turn
Teeth bared
Ears back
I miss itching your belly
Your upper lip stuck out
Scatching the air
My nails getting the bites
I miss your pissy attitude
Your gentle smell
How you stood when eating
I don't regret my decision
I remember how
Even with painkillers
You shook because the pain was so bad
The sweat that ran down you
That look in your eyes
And I knew
What you had tried to tell me
Only a few hours before
I'm sorry I made you hang on longer
Should have held on even at the end
You were the one I couldn't break my word for
Even though I let you down badly then
You gave me hope so many times
And a reason
You made me grow up
Accepted my flaws
Just demanded carrots
And a little skin
You'll always be special to me
My little flea bitten
Cosina

so incredibly tired and I have a headache. So sick of reading about health insurance I'd rather be puking my brains out. Been working long days, long weeks, with lots of sun and heat and humidity. So tired of my horse being a brat and not getting along with others. Ready to feed him over to... not really sure what eats horses or what I want to eat him. I know it's just one of his phases but I just want to tell him "suck it up and grow up". Or maybe that's what I want to tell myself. Probably both. Just sick of being in the air. I just want to land, people. Is that too much to ask? Yes. I know. Got to do the work. And brain shuts down here...

a breather...

I started the write about the drama of the horses at the stable I work at and then realized that it was making me really tired and I just wanted to post and get back to writing. I feel like all I've been doing is working and coming home to either read manga, watch anime, or write anime. It's a very contenting feeling (I don't really think contenting is a word) and a very exhausting feeling. Being sickish this last week has made the exhausting feeling even stronger.

Mason Ryuu
Mason Aimi
Izumi Keisuke
Izumi Mana (originally this was a green color, but because of my background I changed it)
Daishi or Deushi or Tatsuko or Tsutomu or Tsukawaki Kaede

These are the leads in the anime/manga that I'm working on. Advice for the last name of Kaede is welcome. I had a different last name for Kaede, but after after consulting a few people, I decided it would be better to change it. I haven't picked a final choice yet. The names are arranged in typical Japanese setting (last name first). The first two main characters have the last name of their American parent throughout most to all of the storyline. A couple of details below. Ashling, I've developed the characters more, however the story line from earlier I've decided against using.

Aimi and Ryuu are twins and have just turned 17. They were raised in America and Brazil, so they speak English, Japanese, and Portugese fluently. They have just returned to Japan and entered school. Kaede is Keisuke and Mana's cousin: both Kaede and Keisuke are 18 and Mana is 15. Kaede is student president at the school the three attend (Aimi and Ryuu enter this school). Keisuke is extremely protective of his younger sister and his cousin, and it is relatively common knowledge that he has feelings for his cousin and that Kaede is unaware of this. Mana is also the fiance of Ryuu.

Ashling, feel free to email me if you have questions or want more details about Aimi, Ryuu, Mana, Keisuke, Kaede, and/or the story. I don't want to post too much. :)