so...

I thought that instead of making a wish or goal to write on this more often, I'd just try for once every month. At least.

I feel really, really stupid being this excited about this, but I've been playing Suikoden V again recently. It's been a year and a half to two years ago since I've played it and I feel really silly for getting addicted to it again. I know that I should be doing something else with my time and there's more... rewarding (I think that's the right word) things I should be doing. But it makes me really happy to be playing it again and be fighting the addiction of it. I really need to get out more...

I've been feeling blah and lazy recently and I need to kick myself out of it. Part of me would rather be the overly stressed freak running down the street toothbrush in mouth bagel in one hand cream cheese in the other one shoe missing shirt half buttoned. Okay, maybe not, but sometimes I feel like if I showed the panic and stress a little more, than maybe people would understand that no my life is not perfect and I do not have all my sheep in a line.

I feel like there's all these questions that I should know the answer to and I don't. Like is it okay to wear the same clothes day after day if you only wear them after you come home from work and take a shower? Or should one get an education if all they do is fail at it? Is it cheaper in the long run to buy a newer used car with less miles that may or may not break down on you than to repair the older used car with more miles that has been reliable in the past? If money were to be spent on a certain career, would I be able to pay it back? Would shoveling piles of horse poo be more rewarding than shoveling papers or phone calls different places?

I want the answers but the more I pound on my head, the less they come. And that, my friend, sucks.