about you (my heart and soul)...

It's been almost a year
And I still want to wrap my arms around you
Feel your skin twitching under my cheek
Scold you as you turn
Teeth bared
Ears back
I miss itching your belly
Your upper lip stuck out
Scatching the air
My nails getting the bites
I miss your pissy attitude
Your gentle smell
How you stood when eating
I don't regret my decision
I remember how
Even with painkillers
You shook because the pain was so bad
The sweat that ran down you
That look in your eyes
And I knew
What you had tried to tell me
Only a few hours before
I'm sorry I made you hang on longer
Should have held on even at the end
You were the one I couldn't break my word for
Even though I let you down badly then
You gave me hope so many times
And a reason
You made me grow up
Accepted my flaws
Just demanded carrots
And a little skin
You'll always be special to me
My little flea bitten
Cosina

this time...

I'm working on character design again. I feel like I'm always in this stage. But this time I have Mollye's help and it kind of feels like that will make all the difference. I also feel stronger. I keep hoping the pen I'm using doesn't run out of ink. I would waste less paper if I penciled it; but, pen feels solider. Like I'm not just sketching, but actually making the character become real. Maybe it's just me. But pen and paper have some thing special. The cramps in my hand, pain in my fingers, worth every moment. As I start again...

Cheers!

after being gone forever...

So, it's an old poem, but I needed to post something than nothing.

I wish I could tell you…

… That I would never have crossed that line.
Your friendship meant more to me
Than the air I breathed.

… That I’m sorry I broke your trust in me.
You looked to me for friendship,
Support,
And advice,
And I broke that.

… That I wish you hadn’t apologized years after
I told you.
How you reacted is how you feel,
That you’ll never feel comfortable around me
And no amount of time
Or friendship
Will change that-
That’s who you are.

… That I may not be able to forgive you now.
You had every right to say those things
To me face-to-face,
But how it was done
Was like a kick in the lungs
And I’m still gasping for air years later.

… That I would have done any thing you wanted me to
And,
If you had asked me to walk away,
I would have
Forever.